For the last 21 years I have been active in the fitness, mental health, wellness and beauty industry. In my late teens I was a hairdresser – ironic now as I am bald AF! For a few years in my early twenties I also ran a successful tanning salon, which grew into a profitable beauty salon, before moving into personal training and active counselling. Reflecting on my experience of each of these ‘care type’ industries, I have become aware of what appears to be a self care paradox – carers who provide and promote, but rarely receive.
It’s ironic really. The Personal Trainer supports his or her client to exercise 3 -5 times per week, however struggles to deliver on this in their personal life. Really who can blame them, split shifts, awkward sleeping patterns, chasing clients, writing programs and long days – very long days. The hairdresser who is on their feet allllllllllllll day, without a break 5 days a week, experiencing the same dilemma. People who have more important things to do, than their own personal maintenance or care. From memory, staff could have their hair cut/coloured/permed/extended FOR FREE!! But in their own time, via a stylist who was willing to do it, in their own time. You see the issue here?
As a worker in the human care profession, I have my own experience and range of habits to add to this. When it comes to taking holidays, I’ll admit I EPICALLY FAIL! I recently returned to work after a 10 day “staycation”, however in all honesty, one foot and probably a whole arm was still fully functional within my work arena. I am committed to you guys (shrugs, smiles) – what can I say. This aside, I will commit to participating in some form of regular and consistent therapy to decompress. This might include exercise, seaside walks, physiotherapy, chiropractic, massage, counselling or acupuncture. At different times, most of these (I’m getting older and my body hurts lol).
So how is any of this relevant to your mental health?
Studies show that those of us who apply or practice self-care, are more likely to sustain better mental/emotional health. We must be reminded that our needs are important too. It’s the old airline ‘in case of an emergency’ instructional, fit your oxygen mask first – if you can’t breathe, you are useless to others. Having a well-cared for mind and body will make you feel good about yourself, your choices, your life and this will impact those around you. Possibly even inspire someone else to follow in your footsteps – “I’ll have what she’s having”.
Clinical Psychologist Jordan B Peterson stated in his book ‘12 Rules For Life – An Antidote To Chaos’.
“Treat yourself like someone you were responsible for helping.”
And …
“What might my life look like, if I was caring for myself properly?”
How many of you reading this are in the profession of care, support, disability, NDIS or medical work? Did the words above resonate?
I have had this conversation with many clients over the years, especially during the height of Covid. And, the understanding of the need to self care goes one of two ways – some take action, others unintentionally continue down the empath’s road to self-destruction.
If you are reading this and some small part of it resonates with you, I would like to provide some helpful tips from one human carer to another.
- If you have a calendar – use it. Book one thing at a time you know you’ll be able to do it.
- Pay in advance where possible, you’re less likely to cancel.
- Set up a weekly planner. Print it out and place it somewhere you’ll see it regularly, embed it in your memory and actively look forward to it.
- Ask for help. Is your schedule and brain so unhinged you need help actioning self care – does the thought of it make you anxious? Reach out to me activecounsellingbyheartwork@yahoo.com I will provide you with a template to start locking self care in.
I am here to help you.
Joel A Rogers
activecounsellingbyheartwork@yahoo.com
0492 851 205
HEARTWORK 